Childhood Abuse
Overview
I specialise in working with adult survivors of childhood abuse and trauma. People are often under the misapprehension that abuse needs to be overtly serious, life threatening or dangerous.
That is not the case, some of the most debilitating issues that we can be left with can come from parents/caregivers that were less than ideal, that simply didn’t get it right, in fact got a fair bit wrong, culminating in long lasting issues that you find it hard to move past and that are affecting your day to day life.
Children can often feel that whatever happened to them was their fault, this is never the case, anything that occurred in childhood cannot be attributed to a young child.
Children are by nature powerless and have to just suck up whatever is thrown at them however sometimes they speak out, sometimes help is received and sometimes it isn’t, further compounding the issues they are left with – no one can be trusted.
For many, the abuse may have been too difficult to process and they may only remember aspects of what happened as they get older. Others may have lived with the memories all their lives. Whether the trauma happened once or hundreds of times, ten years or fifty years ago, whatever the circumstances. It is never too late to seek help.
Types of Abuse
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What Is Emotional Abuse?
- Constant put downs, humiliations and criticisms which make their victim feel stupid, worthless and useless.
- Threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names, making them feel that they are bad/incapable.
- Making them feel ugly or fat, often making the child the butt of jokes or sarcastic retorts.
- Playing on fears or phobias.
- Ignoring or using silence.
- Pushing a child too hard to achieve.
- Allowing the child to witness domestic abuse or substance abuse.
- Failing to promote a child’s social development.
- Manipulation
- Never saying anything kind, expressing positive feelings or congratulating a child on successes.
- Being completely emotionally unavailable.
- Never telling a child they are loved or how important they are.
Physical Abuse: What is it?
- Physical harm to a child, hitting, biting, slapping, pinching, punching, pulling roughly.
- Name-calling and put-downs; overt anger; threats; attempts to intimidate by the abuser
- Restricting the victim’s movements (preventing them from attending school, controlling what they do or say)
- Restricting access to money
- Overt jealousy or possessiveness.
- The abuser harming other people or animals in the victim’s life
- Seeing another person being physically harmed
Sexual Abuse: What is it?
- Sexual touching of any part of the body, clothed or unclothed
- Penetrative sex, including penetration of the mouth
- Encouraging a child to engage in sexual activity, including masturbation
- Intentionally engaging in sexual activity in front of a child
- Showing children pornography, or using children to create pornography
- Encouraging a child to engage in prostitution.
- Someone flashing or exposing themselves online or offline
- Sexual abuse can include rape and sexual assault, sexual harassment, online grooming.
- It can also include sexual exploitation (being pressured into having sex with someone in return for getting something like money or drugs), child pornography.
- Criticising you sexually
- Forcing you to strip, or forcefully stripping you
- Minimising or denying your feelings about sex or sexual preference
The Effects Of Abuse
- Emotional difficulties such as anger, anxiety, panic attacks, sadness or low self-esteem
- Low confidence, feeling not good enough, trust issues
- Loneliness, isolation
- Mental health problems such as depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), OCD, self-harm, suicidal thoughts
- Feelings of guilt, blame or shame
- Problems with drugs or alcohol
- Disturbing thoughts, emotions and memories that cause distress or confusion
- Poor physical health such as obesity, aches and pains
- Struggling with parenting or relationships
- Worrying that their abuser is still a threat to themselves or others
- Learning difficulties, lower educational attainment, difficulties in communicating
- Behavioural problems including anti-social behaviour, criminal behaviour
What therapy do I offer for Abuse?
I am a PICT (Parks Inner Child Therapy) practitioner.
Parks Inner Child Therapy (PICT) is a powerful and versatile visualisation-based therapy model that aids rapid and positive change.
PICT was originally created to specifically help people recover from the trauma and damage of sexual, physical and emotional abuse during childhood (such harm may have been caused deliberately, caused by neglect, or by inadequate parenting which was not intentional).
PICT is a directional model following a flexible structure adapted to the client’s individual needs. As a practitioner, I can assist you with the unloading process (the initial talking through of past events) should you need it before moving onto the process of deep and lasting change work.
How is PICT Different to Other Therapy Models?
PICT has a flexible structure with a clear beginning, middle and end, as well as measurable results. PICT can quickly and gently deal with even the most traumatic experiences because there is no need to reveal painful details. The model is designed to obtain thorough understanding and resolution of problems, rather than leaving gaps that can cause the same problems to resurface later on. It is designed to work quickly whilst creating deep and lasting change; work that would generally take six months to a year using most therapeutic models may on average be completed in ten two-hour sessions using PICT.
Sessions can be run weekly, fortnightly or at a schedule to suit you.
There is also the opportunity to experience the therapy over a shorter time frame – typically 5 days – this process is called Quick Change and is suitable for those who live a long distance from the therapist or who simply do not have the free time to attend weekly or fortnightly sessions. Please note an assessment is required to be completed to assess suitability for Quick Change work.